Cold Cold Christmas (fake duet)

by Lee Quick

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a fake duet with Lee Quick and Stephen Colbert


Cold, Cold Christmas
(c)2008 Javerbaum/Schlesinger

I want a cold cold Christmas
I hope it’s 20 below
Let a winter storm bury all that’s warm
In a bone-chilling blanket of snow

Thought you would love me forever
Turns out you wanted to part
Now I want a cold cold Christmas
To go with your cold cold heart

Oh I want a cold cold Christmas
One that’s bitter and barren and bleak
Where the weather’s foul and the west winds howl
And the sun doesn’t shine for a week

You hung up my heart like a stocking
Then went and stuffed it with coal
Now I want a cold cold Christmas
To gnaw at the depths of your soul.

I’ll be alone this Christmas
You’d think it would cut like a knife
But I’m numb inside cause a part of me’s died
From the frostbite you spread on my life


Darlin’, Christmas with you, I used to love it so,
We’d trade presents and kiss beneath the mistletoe.
I said I loved you, and you said you loved me too.
Remember? I said I loved you, and you said you loved me too?
Those days are over now, but I still want you to know,
Even though I’m not the one you’ll be kissin’ beneath that mistletoe,
I’ll be thinking of you every minute on this day of love and cheer.
And every minute of every other day of the year.
I’m serious.

So cold that it pierces your body
So cold that it hurts every breath
In fact I wouldn’t mind if you woke up to find
Your new love had frozen to death

So go have a cold cold Christmas
A blustery landscape of pain
Though I’m warm in my skin, I’m still snowed in
By the blizzard that fell in my brain

Only a week until New Year
That’s when I’ll make a new start
But first comes a cold cold Christmas
To go with your cold cold heart
Your frozen, nasty, heart


released December 25, 2010
Cold, Cold Christmas
(c)2008 Javerbaum/Schlesinger

Performed by Lee Quick (guitar/vocal) and Stephen Colbert (vocal)
Edited by Lee Quick




Lee Quick Los Angeles, California

Lee Quick is a teacher, singer-songwriter-guitarist, ex-Army bassoonist, and Katrina refugee with a penchant for guitar songs.

Louisiana-born and classically trained, Lee writes in varied acoustic, folk and country styles, minimally self-produced.

For lessons on guitar, bass guitar, ukulele, and songwriting, visit the link below for Lee’s TakeLessons profile.
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